1. Jackie Tohn: eh. I hated her skin-tight shiny black pants and I’ve never liked her voice much.
2. Ricky Braddy: He was okay, but I’ll forget about his performance by the time I’m done writing this list.
3. Alexis Grace: Not much impressed. On a superficial level, her head is enormous compared to her body, like that girl from The Cranberries. And in HD you could easily see that she had a weird waffle-pattern red mark on her chin. Some terrible lipstick mishap?
4. Brent Keith: Cute dimple, okay performance. I think he’ll stick around for a while.
5. Stevie Wright: She kind of sucked.
6. Anoop Dog: He chose one of my favorite songs of all time, and did a fine job with it, but his voice was mixed in too quietly. Whatever the case, it just can’t compare to the original. Dang, I LOVE that song. Who else remembers Michelle and Danny falling in love to that song on Guiding Light ten years ago?? Yes, I am a dweeb.
7. Casey Carlson: She makes horrible faces and her hair looks like a wig. I think she sucked.
8. Dude: missed his name. He did fine. It’s such a sway-along song, how can you not like it, at least a little?
9. Ann Marie Boskovich: Ew. I mean, she didn’t suck, but I didn’t like it, either.
10. Stephen Fowler: I didn’t love it. I didn’t think it sucked, exactly, but it wasn’t very good either.
11. Tatiana Del Toro: I am rooting for this crazy, super-obnoxious girl. I mean, really, have we ever seen a competitor this irritating? Unfortunately, she kind of sucked. Eh, oh well.
12. Danny Gokey: I like this guy. He did a fine job.

So anyway, there’s my boring recap. Moreso, what I really want to say is that Ryan Seacrest again looks like a complete dwarf next to all the male contestants.