The Fight Journal
Posted by: tiffanypinkdog on: January 5, 2009
Tom and I fight about stupid, stupid things, and we do it over and over again. We both have bad memories and so each fight is like a brand new one: even though we know we’ve had it before, we can’t remember any of the details so we have to have the fight again.
Not this year, though. I have a three-ring binder and it’s filled with looseleaf paper. I’ve written the date at the top of each page, one page for each day of the year. If we fight, we each have to write a paragraph describing what the fight was about and what resolutions were reached. If we teeter on the brink of a fight but manage not to have it, we have to write what measures were taken to avoid the fight. Hopefully by the end of the year the VAST majority of the pages will still be blank, and by taking the time to write paragraphs we will better remember our resolutions.
But we do have our first entry already: “January 2, Near-Miss Fight: nail clippers”. We have 10,000 pairs of nail clippers because Tom is obsessed with nail clippers. There is supposed to be one pair in the “stuff-hole” (which is a small plastic box on the couch with the remote controls and stuff in it), one pair in a specific bathroom drawer, and one pair in my makeup basket. Tom can strew the other 9,997 across the house in any fashion he likes.
But are there ever any clippers in those spots, I ask ye? The answer is NO. Because Tom takes them and hides them under the couch like a ferret or something, I don’t know. Or eats them or trades them for sticks of gum at work, I don’t know, I haven’t the faintest idea.
We nearly had a(nother) fight about this. Instead, Tom went to KMart and bought 3 color-coded nail clippers for the three required spots. Hopefully this will stop him from pocketing these clippers.
So, we chronicled the near-miss fight in the fight journal. I think the fight journal will make for some pretty funny reading at the end of the year. Hopefully it will be mostly empty!
6 Responses to "The Fight Journal"
January 5, 2009 at 7:40 am
This is the same problem with scissors at my parents’ house only my mother is the offender mysteriously misplacing them. My father began purchasing multiple pairs, and of course, they have to be the special fiskars kind–no generics for him will do. A few years ago, he assumed that my brother and I had similar problems in our households as if he had passed down some weird genes, so he gave us all scissors in our stockings. That practice stopped after I reminded Dad that I live in an apartment and only have so many rooms and drawers, which are now overflowing with 2-3 pairs of scissors.
Could you tie strings to the 3 significant clippers and secure them like the bank does with pens?
January 6, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Jeez, don’t you know that first rule of Fight Journal is you do NOT talk about Fight Journal.
Wait, is that right?
January 7, 2009 at 6:45 am
I think you should clip the clippers to Tom’s coat/shirt sleeves–like you do with little kids’ mittens. Then he would just always have them. (Plus, what a cool look!!)
January 7, 2009 at 7:14 am
It doesn’t matter what I do with nail clippers. I’ve tried all of these suggestions at one time or another, but in my possession they have a short half-life or something and one day just vanish–gone to the big nail clipper drawer in the sky, or disappear on a bender in Tijuana. No one knows. Tiffany’s hypotheses that I “hide[] them under the couch like a ferret or something… Or eat[] them or trade[] them for sticks of gum at work” remind me to look under the couches and all around my desk at work. Maybe I’ll find a pair. And some gum, too!
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January 5, 2009 at 7:36 am
That’s a really great idea.
Buy Tom that Swiss Army knife that has the nail clippers in it and put it on his key chain. He’ll never loose it unless he looses his keys.